A Killer Valentine's Day Dinner Party

We at Killer Reads like a bit of romance as much as the next person – but when it comes to reading we’d take horror over hearts any day! So with Valentine’s Day just a few hours away and our various news feeds filling up with talk of ideal dates, we decided to forget about a romantic meal for 2 and instead talk about who we’d invite to a killer dinner party for 6…

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With such a wealth of criminals, detectives and authors to choose from, it’s nigh impossible to choose just six. However, there are only so many killers one dinner party can take so I’ve narrowed down the list to the following:

Dr. Alice McDonald
I have long wanted to befriend Dr. Alice McDonald, the ‘delightfully quirky’ forensic psychologist of Stuart MacBride’s creation. A borderline alcoholic with an array of charming neuroses, you can be sure there would be no awkward silences with Alice around.

Giordano Bruno
Bruno is not just a spy for England, he’s also a former monk charged with heresy on the run from the Spanish Inquisition, and did I mention he’s a philosopher?  You just don’t get that in this day and age.

Paul Spector, (from The Fall)
Sure he’s a psychopathic serial killer with a penchant for murdering women, but I never could resist an Irish accent. And those eyes.

Jackson Brodie
Private investigator Jackson Brodie has always had a special place in my heart, ever since he rescued Binky Rain’s dubiously-named cat in Case Histories. He may be a touch abrasive at first but chip away at that tough guy exterior and you’ll find a hugely compassionate man underneath.

DI Sean Corrigan
I’d like nothing more than to pick the brains of DI Sean Corrigan, a man who can get inside the head of killers simply by looking at a crime scene. His unique ability for sniffing out criminals could also make for an interesting showdown with Paul.

Stephen King

The Shining remains to this day one of the most terrifying books I have ever read. Who wouldn’t want to meet the mastermind behind it?

– Lucy, HarperFiction

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I’m not generally a massive fan of Valentine’s Day, so love the idea of hosting a killer dinner party instead.

I’d invite my husband, because obvs I want him there with me.

Zooey Deschanel and Joseph Gordon Levitt, so they could serenade us.

Captain Jean Luc Picard, so I could hear his stories of growing up in France and travelling through space, and Poirot, just in case one of us gets killed.

It would be a most entertaining evening.

– Katie S, HarperFiction

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For my Killer Dinner party for six I would have to go for balance: two killers, two detectives and two writers to document the entire thing.

In terms of writers, I’d have to go for Agatha Christie for a classic novelisation of the event and Alfred Hitchcock for the screenplay version.

My detectives would comprise of Poirot (for the comedy value) and Sarah Lund (in the hope that she would bring one of those lovely woolly jumpers as a gift).

I’d invite Norman Bates so that I could ask how he copes with being one of the most infamous killers in film history and, had she not been gunned down in the last episode, Gertrud Kofoed from The Bridge. This is mainly so that I could ask, “who was the man behind the it all and why did the viewers never find out?” As you can see, I just cannot let that go!

– Laura, Blue Door Books

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